What is Sacred Sexuality?

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I get this question quite often, so I thought I’d answer here with my understanding of it.

In my coaching, I tend to use the term Conscious Sexuality. This is because the word “sacred” seems to me to separate sexuality in terms of the acts that occur - meaning that people think of sacred sexuality being a specific way of love-making: sculptured positions from the kama sutra, or breathing practices and chanting. While these practices can definitely be included in elevated sexuality, they are not necessary.

Its also important for me to share that one way of connecting sexually is NOT more spiritual than another. Whips and handcuffs can become an elevated spiritual practice as much as the missionary position, and sex between strangers as spiritually uplifting as sex between two married people.

What makes sexuality “sacred” is the consciousness of those participating. When we have the intention of presence, honesty, love, and growth within our motivations, the act of sex is sacred.

Within this consciousness we are able to activate our bodies into elevated states of bliss, and our spiritual consciousness grows and expands as well. Within the act of sex and bringing our bodies pleasure, altered states of consciousness can be accessed, much like what happens during the use of plant medicines or deep meditation.

And, worth noting, that the act of sex is so powerful that it can often make a sacred moment out of something quite benign, spontaneously activating one or both (or all) those involved into an other-worldly awareness.

I personally believe that sex in and of itself is a spiritual practice, in that bringing our bodies pleasure is a great act of self-love, and self-love is spiritual. We are on earth to have the experience of a physical body - and we ought to learn the many ways of caring for it. Allowing the body to be a portal to delicious and ecstatic higher consciousness states is a beautiful way to learn and develop ourselves as spiritual beings.

Real Sex Is Like Chocolate Cake

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I was watching porn recently (don't judge) when the realization struck me: I was incredibly bored. At first this sent me into a momentary panic, my mind anxious with the possibilities. Why wasn’t anything I watched turning me on? What if I have somehow lost my libido?

Obviously, I’m not an inherently patient person – this was not a long-standing issue I was having with a lack of arousal, but entirely situational and also entirely in that moment, though the feeling had been creeping in for a long time.

Slowly a greater understanding came to me as I examined my boredom. Porn just wasn’t real, and I knew what real was.

Porn represents a completely different version of sexual pleasure than what I know to be true; the situations and excitement presented, though at times is genuine, is based on a surface-level version of sex that is fast and high-intensity, with the climax simply for dramatic show and void of any emotion. I was especially struck in this moment by the showy climax of porn; how could they experience all that stimulus and not feel love or tenderness, or have some outpouring of emotion? None of these sentiments were shown - it was as if nothing had happened.

My orgasms are certainly not like that, and I realized that for a long time, likely because of porn, I though my orgasms were too extreme, and it made me not want to have them. 

Many of us have had these porn-like experiences – quick moments of intensity that are purely carnal, ravenous, or fun. And sex can be like that too. The issue is that most of us stop developing beyond this feverish version of sexuality without knowing that there is so much more, and this more is often what we are seeking when we log on to porn channels trying to find stimulation.

For me, though, these models of how sex looks have become old news, to the point that they don’t even give me a hint of arousal. Real sex has become both slow and intoxicatingly present. It is an act of spontaneity and real pleasure. None of the excitement is lost, though many of the actions seen in porn have gone missing because they don’t actually do anything for me or my partners. Sex has become a way to discover, release, play, and connect to myself and another on an ecstatically pleasurable, and at times even transcendent, level.

My sexual experience (both solo and partnered) has become so much more fulfilling than porn that, in that moment, trying to watch it felt cartoonish and lackluster, or like I was chewing on cardboard in place of a rich chocolate cake – or even a refreshing and quenching green juice!

I remembered a key revelation I’d had previously that is included in my book, The Era of The True Creator:

"Boredom… has an important role to play in our expansion – it comes when we reach a mental breaking point from the loop of recreated drama. This feeling is the window to truth, a brief recognition of our true potential and the jumping off point for an expansive, limitless creation. Upon reaching moments of boredom, savor the feeling! From this limitless space, we can begin to look for creative pursuits that will assist us to grow in ways we haven’t before."

With this realization, I felt calm. I finally answered that nagging question I’ve been having for a while: “Sure this automatic sex is boring, but do I have the commitment to pursue something greater? Do I trust that there is something within me that is capable of reaching beyond?"

Yup. I’m ready for some chocolate cake.

Mindgasms Are Real: The Pineal Gland as a Clitoris

Mindgasms are real: the pineal gland as a clitoris

Most people tend to think of an orgasm as a centralized experience, a physical sensation that happens in the genital area of our bodies. Indeed it can be such a powerful physical sensation that it can distract us from recognizing the energetic movement that occurs during these muscle contractions.

To experience other types of orgasm that can be felt in many areas of our bodies, we need to open our perception beyond the knowledge of pure physicality and tangibility into the realms of sensing energy, and we need to know how to activate and run this energy. By learning to run our energy throughout our body and auric field, all of our energy centers open up and amazing things can happen. The pleasure that is produced and centered in one area – as in a joyful thought in our mind, or a sexual orgasm in our genitals – can be distributed and multiplied throughout our entire system. This has the effect of a joy-filled, ecstatic aura and a happy, healthy body.

Before recently diving into sexuality coaching and sensual touch therapies, I practiced Reiki energy work for two years. A Reiki session involves channeling universal energy through my crown chakra and down through my hands, then directing this energy into another person’s energy field, as well as “reading” or perceiving the subtle energies of their field to know where to direct this energy. During a Reiki session I can “see” visual representations in my mind of what is happening inside someone’s body and energy field.

During one particular session on a man attending a plant medicine retreat, I held my hands near his head and read the energy there. In my mind’s eye I saw a picture of his auric field: just to the front of his third eye was an opening that looked like the entrance to a vagina. I was shown that I needed to ask to enter his auric field through this opening, and then connect with what was occurring in his pineal gland area.

My processing this afterwards lead me to the thought: what if we can stimulate the pineal gland to produce an orgasm in our minds?! How would one do such a thing?

I then perceived that his pineal gland was large and very active; it was actually throbbing with activity, and I could see it pulse as if it were an engorged clitoris! Talking with him after the session, he shared that he was incredibly sensitive and activated in his third eye, and often had waking visions as well as visionary dreams.

My processing this afterwards lead me to the thought: what if we can stimulate the pineal gland to produce an orgasm in our minds?! How would one do such a thing? My initial ideas involved using sounds to stimulate the pineal gland through vibration, having heard a bit about the sound vibrations the yogis tune into through mantra for the purpose of activating these centers. I attempted humming and vocalizing towards this aim, but I admit I was impatient, and the stimulation it produced was too subtle for me to feel any results. (I am currently revisiting this technique - I will share what I find.)

But what did end up producing a mental orgasm was spinal breathing during sex with my husband. Once, as we were making love and I felt myself getting close to climaxing, I began spinal breathing, a process of bringing my energy up through my spinal column, from my tailbone and up to the base of my skull, then into the center of my mind and through the top of my head. I felt a clean white stream of light running all the way up my spine that entered my brain, and as I orgasmed, the pulse of the orgasm filled my skull, the gentle throb of energy rolling through my mind. It was a wonderful feeling, subtler that I would have expected but still very pleasurable.

Spinal breathing has been an integral part of my energy practice since I learned it several years ago. To incorporate it into your personal practice, watch the video below where I describe the process. (Please note, this video was posted a year ago on my old YouTube channel - my new YouTube channel can be found HERE.)

 

Questions? Contact me or schedule a session.

May you be filled with ecstatic pleasure.

 
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Why am I a sexuality coach?

Like many of us, I grew up in a rather conservative and religious household, where right and wrong was clearly defined through the doctrines of the church that we attended. As is common in religion, there were acts that were deemed sinful, and ways to correct ourselves from these acts if they occurred. For us this was called the repentance process, and entailed a recognition of the sin through confession to a church authority, followed by a period of time spent in contrition and seeking forgiveness from god.

I bring this up because it set up a specific process in my life that continued well into adulthood. To summarize, my process was this: sin now, repent later, and feel bad about myself and any possible sexual desires I have ALL the time. Each cycle held two forms: for a while I would be liberated and pursue my curiosities in life, though there were always underlying feelings of shame and worry that I was doing something wrong; this was then followed by time spent deep in the study of very fulfilling spiritual practices, where I would reject my sexual nature and feel slightly false and incomplete.

This internal process continued well after I stopped practicing religion at age 20. The surprising thing for me was to see that it continued even after I had my spiritual awakening in 2012.

As soon as my awakening began, sexual pleasure vanished from my scope. I was suddenly able to perceive multidimnesionally, and I felt disturbed and somewhat traumatized to see what was happening on an energetic level when we engaged with others in sexually manipulative or unconscious ways, and at the time I didn’t have the tools to deal with it all – my world during the beginning of my awakening was being completely turned upside down, and all I wanted to do was find my newly placed footing.

I also felt pleasure coming through in new and fascinating areas: channeling, intuitive learning, and all the completely new experiences I was having filled me up with a new kind of ecstasy, and sexual pleasure paled in comparison for a brief amount of time.

And though its true that my time was taken up with these new areas of intense learning, it was also true that I still felt conflicted about sex. I wondered why I didn’t want it anymore, and came to realize that I had never really liked it much. Sex to me in the past had been an avenue of social connection, experimentation and playful (yet disconnected) exploration. It had never been fulfilling, and I slowly realized – shockingly – that it had never even physically felt very good to me. This lack of physical pleasure had nothing to do with what my partners had or hadn’t done, or how well they did it; it had everything to do with my inability to let go and enjoy the pure pleasure of sex.

Coming to unify this rift over the past four years has been a slowly unfolding process, as graciously, the universe has been guiding me to see that pleasure and spirituality are not really two separate pursuits, but one in the same.

Though I felt afraid to explore sex because it didn’t fit with my ideas of what I was supposed to be or do as a “spiritual” person, compulsion took over – eventually my body put up a fight where I didn’t want to look and my craving to have some unnamable force within me fulfilled caused me to be distracted daily. I found myself wanting to play again, as I had before my awakening, to explore pleasure in many ways, but I didn’t know how to do it in a new and developed way with all that I had learned about energy and congruency in the past years. My internal tension grew: I couldn’t let go, and yet my body propelled me towards fulfillment.

The energetic universe is a funny place – as Rumi says, “that which we seek is seeking us”. Though I tried to find logical outlets for my desires, what inevitably showed up was circumstances that were unplanned and messy. Through lots of pleasure and also LOTS of heartache, all that my body was yearning for came to me in various forms – and it was all incredibly enlightening.

The past six months have been a whirlwind of integration, allowing me to become a unified, sexual being for the first time in my life.

And as soon as 2018 came around, another calling showed itself to me, quite clearly.

I moved from Santa Fe NM to the Pacific Northwest – and from sunny days to constant rain. As I meditated at the hilly summit of a nearby hiking trail, I asked, “What am I doing here? What do I do now?” and I immediately heard, “You are here to be a sexuality coach. Don’t get another job. Just do this.”

I see now that this is a natural progression for my life: I was a stripper in my early 20’s, and later owned a pole dance studio for five years. My spiritual/sexual cycle brought me to explore a diverse range of experiences that can bring us pleasure, from the crown chakra to the root and everything in between and beyond. These past experiences, coupled with the intuitive gifts I work with and the coaching I have done for three years now come together to form a clearer picture that I have been on this track for much of my life, though it is still a surprise to me.

So now, I offer myself to the process. I'm excited to see where this all leads.

 

For more information on what I offer, please visit the SESSIONS page.

Accessing the Original Cell Through Conscious Sex

Hey Everyone!

Recently I brought through some information on what is called the "original cell". The original cell is an energetic gateway, located within the female body in the area that is physically just to the front of the cervix. This energetic gateway can be accessed through sex, when a man's penis is inside the woman's vaginal canal and pushing against this area.

This energy gateway seems to be called the Original Cell because of what it activates - not because it is actually a physical cell or cluster of cells (though I do want to say that this is the first I've been introduced to this teaching, and I may be wrong on that - I still have a lot to learn here.) 

The Original Cell accesses our original ancestral blueprint, our ancestral DNA. It is an activation point which, when triggered through physical contact, can clear a woman's energy body and return her to her original blueprint, activating the woman into a sort of "reset".

I was shown that this activation point is a sacred area that takes a high level of consciousness within at least one person in the sexual contact. When one person is heart-centered, present, and conscious during love-making, the energy that builds and occurs during orgasm will be directed up through the woman's body and find a clear path to allow the "reset" to occur, creating transcendence and ecstasy - an attunement with our personal blueprint.

However, if both partners are unconscious during love-making and this access point is triggered, the energy is not able to run through the body to create the reset, and is instead circumvented into a confusing emotional response. This can be emotionally devastating for both parties involved, as the energy of the Original Cell portal is quite strong. 

I will be sharing more information as I receive it! Blessings to You.

UPDATE: After receiving this message I did some research into female anatomy, and found the area being described here is called the Anterior Fornix, or "A Spot". The fornix is the area of the vagina that directly surrounds the cervix; during arousal, the woman's vagina lengthens or "tents", and the fornix area opens up to expose space in front of and behind the cervix. This newly exposed area to the front of the cervix (towards the belly button) is the A spot.

Attraction Attachments: How To Let Go and Be in Your Power

Being human, with a mind and emotions, attachments are a normal part of life. Attachments act as a balm for our mental state, because it is our mind's way of holding onto moment, which we find soothing in a disjointed way. Through attachment we are trying to discover a moment more deeply by mentally replaying it and recreating it, attempting to hold it within our human grasp.

We can be attached to something "real" or imagined - something that actually occurred and felt "good", or the promise of something that we held and expectation for that never materialized, leaving us attempting to create the moment in our minds and fulfill the attachment. Sexual attachments are inherently strong, in that sex connects us to our deepest needs of survival, and thus trigger equal amounts of desire for safety. All attachments can easily become addictions, wherein we are biochemically attached to the process of holding and re-looping a particular event, or attempting to reignite the chemical rush of a feeling that a person or scenario gave to us.

These attachments are a representation of our living outside of pure presence. They shows us our feelings of lack, which means that we are not recognizing our fullness - a knowing that is inherent in each eternal moment if we are present for it.

But attachment also points to a more subtle truth: 

Attachment shows that we are seeking pleasure, and that we have found it. We want more.

It makes sense that we would want to hold onto each moment and attempt to recreate it; with our time-based sense of reality, it can be hard to let go and be present. What's next? Will it be as pleasurable as this? Are we safe and cared for? Our mind always wants to know that more pleasure is around the corner, but cant really trust that this will be so. And the realms of human sexuality are so forbidden and misunderstood, that we may have a hard time facing with any real confidence what we are experiencing because of the shame that is involved, keeping us from seeing that we simply want pleasure, and that that is okay (even wonderful).

If we found validation and pleasure in a connection with a person, but we are now experiencing feelings of attachment or even addiction, it means that our interactions with that person activated some type of pleasure button within ourselves. Through our attachment and addiction to them, we are trying to access that pleasure again and again.

The problem with this arrangement is not in the circumstances or people, but in the seeking inauthentic sources for our pleasure. 

Let me express something here: we are wired for pleasure. It is something that our body and mind are always seeking, because, on both a deeper and more transcendent level, it is our true state. The trouble is that in human form, we don't know how to feed these pleasure-seeking aspects of our mind and body. We know we want pleasure and are compelled to find it; but without the understanding of what we are really looking for or where to find it, we seek comfort in drama and control, attachments and addictions. 

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But what are we really seeking? Our true selves. Our inherent joy. Our uniqueness. God. 

We are seeking to exist in our power.

These things, people, and situations that we are attached to are avenues toward the discovery of our pleasure. Attachment is the byproduct of filtering and avoiding this pleasure, and turning it into the belief that it is something that comes from outside of ourselves.

Each of us have a power that is so great. We are Gods! And when we can access even a fraction of the knowing of who we are, we touch a deeper pleasure that is self-replenishing, and cannot be diminished.

Our true power shines and radiates. It is shared through its radiance. Whether or not it is received and reciprocated, it still exists, and it is not dependent on a reception. We can exist in our true power in all times, and at any moment step into it.

So how do we release this attachment that grips us at times, to step into our true power? Here are three ways that I have found work:

Connect to GRATITUDE. Gratitude does so much for us. When in gratitude, we are doing the opposite of attachment: we are honoring and celebrating our pleasure instead of denying it. We are able to see life through the lens of abundance instead of lack: what is working out well for me? How is this helping?

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Vibrationally, deep feelings of gratitude are of the same frequency as true joy. Unconditional love and joy are states of being that can show us that we are existing in our power. One moment of gratitude - for everything, as it is - can transform our feelings of lack to peace in situations, allowing us to accept and even love them as they are.

Move into the HEART SPACE. Attachments are purely mental; our mind loves to compartmentalize, and attachments are a way for us attempt to stay in control of our reality by dividing reality into "what needs to happen for me to feel safe" and what can't happen. But when we move into the heart space we are able to be present, and know the joy inherent in acceptance of all that is on an expanded level of understanding. Our heart will show us that we are truly joyful and okay, just as we are and just as life is, without needing to change anything. From this place of peace, we can be shown what action to take, or if any is needed.

Learn to accept your DESIRE FOR PLEASURE. When we access the understanding that our pleasure is absolutely perfect, and even inherent to our True and Higher Selves, we can use this understanding to embrace pleasure as an avenue toward spiritual growth. Gone are the days when suffering was holy. As Gods in human form, pleasure is the new confirmation of Truth. Embracing pleasure is the new signpost that we are living in our power.

If we are feeling depleted, if we are feeling an attachment that leaves us sad, or in the most extreme, feeling addicted, know this: it can end in a moment.  Releasing attachments and addictions is a commitment to living in your great power. Are you ready to be YOU?

 

Beginning in January I will be offering a class called Unconditional Joy and Life Purpose with an online school called the Heart Center. If you are interested in this class among many incredible others, please visit www.theheartcenter.space for more information and to register.