Being human, with a mind and emotions, attachments are a normal part of life. Attachments act as a balm for our mental state, because it is our mind's way of holding onto moment, which we find soothing in a disjointed way. Through attachment we are trying to discover a moment more deeply by mentally replaying it and recreating it, attempting to hold it within our human grasp.
We can be attached to something "real" or imagined - something that actually occurred and felt "good", or the promise of something that we held and expectation for that never materialized, leaving us attempting to create the moment in our minds and fulfill the attachment. Sexual attachments are inherently strong, in that sex connects us to our deepest needs of survival, and thus trigger equal amounts of desire for safety. All attachments can easily become addictions, wherein we are biochemically attached to the process of holding and re-looping a particular event, or attempting to reignite the chemical rush of a feeling that a person or scenario gave to us.
These attachments are a representation of our living outside of pure presence. They shows us our feelings of lack, which means that we are not recognizing our fullness - a knowing that is inherent in each eternal moment if we are present for it.
But attachment also points to a more subtle truth:
Attachment shows that we are seeking pleasure, and that we have found it. We want more.
It makes sense that we would want to hold onto each moment and attempt to recreate it; with our time-based sense of reality, it can be hard to let go and be present. What's next? Will it be as pleasurable as this? Are we safe and cared for? Our mind always wants to know that more pleasure is around the corner, but cant really trust that this will be so. And the realms of human sexuality are so forbidden and misunderstood, that we may have a hard time facing with any real confidence what we are experiencing because of the shame that is involved, keeping us from seeing that we simply want pleasure, and that that is okay (even wonderful).
If we found validation and pleasure in a connection with a person, but we are now experiencing feelings of attachment or even addiction, it means that our interactions with that person activated some type of pleasure button within ourselves. Through our attachment and addiction to them, we are trying to access that pleasure again and again.
The problem with this arrangement is not in the circumstances or people, but in the seeking inauthentic sources for our pleasure.
Let me express something here: we are wired for pleasure. It is something that our body and mind are always seeking, because, on both a deeper and more transcendent level, it is our true state. The trouble is that in human form, we don't know how to feed these pleasure-seeking aspects of our mind and body. We know we want pleasure and are compelled to find it; but without the understanding of what we are really looking for or where to find it, we seek comfort in drama and control, attachments and addictions.
But what are we really seeking? Our true selves. Our inherent joy. Our uniqueness. God.
We are seeking to exist in our power.
These things, people, and situations that we are attached to are avenues toward the discovery of our pleasure. Attachment is the byproduct of filtering and avoiding this pleasure, and turning it into the belief that it is something that comes from outside of ourselves.
Each of us have a power that is so great. We are Gods! And when we can access even a fraction of the knowing of who we are, we touch a deeper pleasure that is self-replenishing, and cannot be diminished.
Our true power shines and radiates. It is shared through its radiance. Whether or not it is received and reciprocated, it still exists, and it is not dependent on a reception. We can exist in our true power in all times, and at any moment step into it.
So how do we release this attachment that grips us at times, to step into our true power? Here are three ways that I have found work:
Connect to GRATITUDE. Gratitude does so much for us. When in gratitude, we are doing the opposite of attachment: we are honoring and celebrating our pleasure instead of denying it. We are able to see life through the lens of abundance instead of lack: what is working out well for me? How is this helping?
Vibrationally, deep feelings of gratitude are of the same frequency as true joy. Unconditional love and joy are states of being that can show us that we are existing in our power. One moment of gratitude - for everything, as it is - can transform our feelings of lack to peace in situations, allowing us to accept and even love them as they are.
Move into the HEART SPACE. Attachments are purely mental; our mind loves to compartmentalize, and attachments are a way for us attempt to stay in control of our reality by dividing reality into "what needs to happen for me to feel safe" and what can't happen. But when we move into the heart space we are able to be present, and know the joy inherent in acceptance of all that is on an expanded level of understanding. Our heart will show us that we are truly joyful and okay, just as we are and just as life is, without needing to change anything. From this place of peace, we can be shown what action to take, or if any is needed.
Learn to accept your DESIRE FOR PLEASURE. When we access the understanding that our pleasure is absolutely perfect, and even inherent to our True and Higher Selves, we can use this understanding to embrace pleasure as an avenue toward spiritual growth. Gone are the days when suffering was holy. As Gods in human form, pleasure is the new confirmation of Truth. Embracing pleasure is the new signpost that we are living in our power.
If we are feeling depleted, if we are feeling an attachment that leaves us sad, or in the most extreme, feeling addicted, know this: it can end in a moment. Releasing attachments and addictions is a commitment to living in your great power. Are you ready to be YOU?
Beginning in January I will be offering a class called Unconditional Joy and Life Purpose with an online school called the Heart Center. If you are interested in this class among many incredible others, please visit www.theheartcenter.space for more information and to register.