I once had a lover tell me that my whole body was an erogenous zone. It was one of the best compliments I’ve ever received! And subsequently it got me to thinking…
We’ve all heard of erogenous zones - those special areas on the body said to create pleasure and automatically turn your partner on - as if we are computers with little buttons that can be pushed to create a specific response.
But sexual intimacy is far more than a series of steps to orgasm.
The reality is that our entire body can be activated into a state of bliss, and this ecstatic feeling can begin and be generated from many points on the body which are individual to every single one of us.
This is important to know because believing in the common mythology of a specific set of erogenous zones can limit us in a couple important ways:
Tunnel vision - If we feel that there are certain areas on the body that will arouse our partner when we touch them there, we will limit ourselves to pleasuring those areas, instead of being present with our partners in the moment. Its true, your wife may always enjoy her breasts rubbed, but then again she may have days where that isn’t of interest. Sticking to just the known can put lovemaking into a repetitive rut.
Poor Self-Image - We may also feel that, if our bodies don’t respond to the known erogenous zones, there is something wrong with us or the way we get turned on. We may expect that our genitals be more sensitive than they are, while what really gets us in a state of bliss is having our feet rubbed. When we are expecting our bodies to respond in a certain way, we are not being present with ourselves, and may entirely miss what can really bring us to our pleasure.
Conscious Sexuality revolves around being present: present with our bodies, and present with our partners. Deep presence connects us to far more than just the physical enjoyment of our sexual experience, it is a gateway into the energetic realms which are beyond time and space, allowing us to experience trance-like states of pleasure and opening up our ecstatic bodies. If we can pull ourselves away from the idea that only certain parts of our body can bring us pleasure, we are on our way to this level of presence, and beginning our sacred sexuality journey.
Let's stop centralizing our pleasure - an awakened body is ecstatic.